Tuesday, May 12, 2009

rug fun

I don't think this story is disrespectful of my husband, but if you do, let me know and I'll censor/edit it. It is pretty funny, though.
Back when Andy and I were a-courtin' he lived in this nifty bachelor pad over in eastern Chesapeake. He was fixing me supper over there on night, and I had made myself at home - taking my shoes off to hang out for the evening. I walked into his kitchen, which was some sort of smooth tile or Pergo-type flooring, I think. I took a couple steps and about fell and broke my neck!
WHY is your floor so SLIPPERY? I wanted to know.
Because I Pledge it, of course! Here, look!
And with that, Andy took a couple of trots across the living room and zoomed across the length of the eat in kitchen.
Well, I was (you think I'm going to say, "spellbound at his cleverness" right? well I'm not.) flabbergasted that someone would create a death trap in plain view in a nice duplex in the suburbs. But that is just what he had done. I went on to explain that while I hate to dust and avoid it all costs, nonetheless I know that one does NOT put Pledge on the floor as it is a precursor to pain.

Fast forward to our humble home (which is for SALE! buy it!) and our happy family of four. A couple weeks ago when sleet and freezing rain was part of our daily weather forecast, I was desperate for something to stave off cabin fever for me and the Littles.
A-ha! (as great - er, bad ideas are generally prefaced...) I remembered the combination of Pledge and wood floor.
So I did it.
In the hallway.
We scooted and slid for the better part of a morning until we broke a sweat. Then I replaced the hall rug and forgot all about it. Including forgetting to mention it to Andy.
So....after a couple weeks of near misses and almost falls, last week Andy was the one to reap the benefits of introducing me to Pledge floor sports.
We three girls were outside and the neighbor's dog came barking loudly as he ran across the yard toward the littles who were on the swings (there's a run-on sentence for ya!). Andy, ever on the alert for his girls' safety, went flying out of the office, down the hall....or at least, down in the hall. He went sailing on that rug and down on his knee. If you ask him now he'll be glad to show you the wine-colored injury that is evidence of the wrench he took at the kneecap.
Now, it is Not Funny, because my husband was hurt. But if you picture it, you might feel a tickle in your belly at least.
Well, today, in order to avoid potential lawsuits by potential home buyers, I glue-gunned rug pads to two new runners in the hallway, thereby averting future humorous - I mean, painful - adventures.

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