Friday, September 3, 2010

A Recipe For the Birds

Someone asked me the other day to share my recipe for suet cakes, and was only too glad to oblige! 

Now, technically, suet cakes are made from rendered beef fat that theoretically can be purchased at a butcher or sometimes found in the meat department of the grocery store.  But in Real Life I've found that when I am able to find suet, the birds don't care for it as much as what I make myself.  Pre-made, pre-packaged suet cakes  can be purchased at the dollar store for - guess what - a dollar each, or you can make them very frugally at home with leftovers. 

For us, making our own suet cakes involves my best parenting skills, some homeschooling lessons and satisfies a portion of our entertainment budget - birdwatching.

For starters, begin to collect the following:
  • "edges" off of PB&Js (<---parenting skills!)
  • freebie bran cereal that gives everyone tummy aches if they eat it (coupons!)
  • stale cheerios (coupons again!)
  • forgotten fruit including skins and cores
  • lumpy grits
  • spilled oatmeal
  • stale bread
  • heels of bread - but only after you've made enough bread crumbs
  • raisins that get spilled in the pantry and are too dirty to eat
  • stale cookies
  • peanuts that the 3 year old sucked the salt off of and tried to put back in the jar (!)
  • mushy blueberries that no one will eat
  • etc., etc.

Store these items in the freezer.  I use a bread bag and just dump the stuff in as it collects, tie it off loosely and replace it in the same spot every time so I know what it is. 

See?  Bird stuff on the right, hot dog buns on the left.
Next, getcha some shortening.  Not the all vegetable kind, either.  You're going for the artery busting stuff - Manteca - the animal byproduct, gross-out staple of the Southern Pantry. 
Mmmm, mmmm! 
Seriously, though, the birds need fat to convert to energy so they can fly.  Have YOU ever tried to fly?  Its tiring stuff.  You need manteca.  Well, THEY need it.  YOU need Omega-3s, but that's another topic.

Melt that stuff down.  Scoop out a couple cups of it and put it on the stove top, stirring, watching carefully, because it will burn.  And start a BIG hot fire.  I know these things.


Then, get out one of your jars of $1 or less peanut butter - from a good Kroger sale where you stocked up on 22 jars of it or from where you found it at the Dollar Tree.  Scoop out a cup or so of that, too and put it in the pot to melt along with the shortening.  Yummo!


Now, why I don't have a picture of this next step is beyond me.  But I think you can figure it out without the visuals.
  • Dump the aforesaid bread-bag-full-of-scraps into a giant metal or glass bowl.  If you want to keep the squirrels and chipmunks away, add a generous few dashes of cayenne pepper.  No harm to the birds, but mammals don't like it.
  • Pour the peanut butter/shortening mix over top of the scraps.
  • Mix with a spatula very well so that all of the scraps are covered.  Beware: its hot.  If you're using this as a homeschooling lesson, let the kids know to stir carefully so they don't burn themselves. 
  • If you need more shortening and peanut butter, go for it.  I use a ratio of about 3:1 with shortening and PB.  You just want the PB there for the taste mostly.
  • Pat it all out nicely into a cake pan:
Mouthwatering!

Slice and serve!

Store the unused portion in the freezer.  Again, it would be a good idea to label the container.  You don't want Daddy-o getting his hopes up for a freezer pie and then having them horribly dashed when he takes a bite of that gross stuff.

Oh, and if you look really carefully in the picture above you'll see a blue snowflake-looking sequin where the cake slice was removed.  That's from where I swept up something - probably cheerios - off the floor and just dumped it in....!

Now, go take that chunk-o-suet-cake and put it in your suet feeder that is hung alongside your other bird feeders and watch the show.  You'll enjoy woodpeckers, various sparrows, tufted titmice, nuthatches, and even cardinals.

Here's a little downy woodpecker....
...all of 5 minutes after I put the suet into the feeder!
Homeschooling lessons:  Identify birds using a field guide or the Internet and talk about the varieties of birds and animals that God created for our enjoyment.  Discuss which birds prefer seeds, which prefer suet, which are foragers on the ground under the feeders.  Of course, in making the suet cakes there are dozens of lessons on food, measuring, heat, solids vs. liquids, etc.

Enjoy the birds!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Ice Breaker

Do you remember this scenario from grade school?:

"Now we are going to go around the circle and say our names with a word that describes us, a word that begins with the first letter of our name.  I'll start:  "Hello, I'm 'Clever Catherine'....now you....."

The above was usually smarmily voiced by a fun-loving Sunday School or Youth Group leader who most surely had only the best intentions in mind and was supernaturally able to ignore the eye-rolling and nervous seat-shifting that went on around the group. 

I HATE that game.  Or icebreaker.  Whatever.  I DESPISE it so much that to this day when I take a class, a workshop or attend a reunion, I quake inwardly that the leader will attempt to pull that nonsense. 

WhyeveronEarth? you wonder.

Well, think about it.  How many adjectives come to your mind that are begin with the letter "H"?

Hot
Hysterical
Honest
Hungry*
Heavy*
Homesick
Homely
Helpful
Horrible
Humble

(*maybe if I weren't so daggone hungry I wouldn't be so daggone heavy...but I digress)

Ya think I'm gonna' let any of those rip in a room full of my peers?  "Helpful Heidi"?  I'd be someone's slave for months.  That's just begging for trouble.

And WHAT common adjective, pray tell, is omitted from that list?

That would be the adjective that I selected, by default, Each And Every Time the bottle spun my way attention of the room was shifted my way, that being:

HAPPY.

And the worst of it is, that I can't help it that I smile so much so that when I did say (shudder) "HAPPY HEIDI" that everyone - snarky eighth graders included - would practice their eye rolling skills some more and nod their heads because it just made so much sense; certainly that girl who smiles all the time is always happy. 

Indeed, however, I am NOT always happy.  Not now and certainly not then as a snarky kid, but more often:

Hateful
Horrendous
Humiliated
Hurried
Humourless
Humdrum
Hotheaded
Horrible
Homicidal (I actually WISH I had thought of that in 8th grade...)

What triggered this diatribe?  Like most other things in my life these days, it was the dreaded "Mommy Guilt."  You see, almost 6 years ago I had the clever idea to give my eldest daughter a name that begins with the same initial as does mine.  And as I was ironing one of her dresses I had a terrible shock that she will face that same humiliation that was mine all those years ago. 

I can see it now: 
"now, little girl, its your turn...."
"Hello, I'm hard-core Hannah!"
 
I'm going to have to buy her a thesaurus.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Local Travels

I wanted to get out of the house so badly this past weekend, but we just couldn't pull off a camping trip.  It was my fault, really, because I let the laundry get hopelessly behind and I had a few last minute things to get before we started school yesterday.  But we were at least able to get out for a drive over to Peaks of Otter to look at their nature center and walk on their trails a bit. 
Touch-me-nots by the stream
hmmm....the picture is of the moth, but I see a spot of bleach on his shirt, too....
Spitting apple chunks to the fish in the lake (?!)
One of the things I love about this area is that there are so many natural things to see....just being outside in a different setting calmed the girls who were being especially naughty on the trip over there.  We had a little "hike" which would have been longer had Abbo not been beset with blisters from wearing her sandals on the wrong feet the day before. 
Exploring an inviting climbing tree in front of the Peaks of Otter Lodge

The tunnel under the Blue Ridge Parkway and a lesson in erosion
Lincoln Logs in the Lodge
It was a good time together, nonetheless.  Again, though, many of our pictures didn't turn out well....

but some did!

delectable

There are simply no words -

First Day of School Pictures


 "Mama, I in KINDAHgarten this year.  Not preschool!"  "How about Junior Kindergarten?"  "OK."
 


Here at the Morris Homeschool Academy, shoes are optional.



Sister love, however, is not!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Spotted in the Highlands

Wings & Wheels Festival at Ingalls Field up in Bath County last weekend
Andy & Hannah riding the "train" at Wings & Wheels



VBS....out of This World!

Canebrake Rattler on the forest service road over on Dolly Ann Drive
Snake, rattle and ... RUN!

Look at the size of them 'maters from our garden!

Monday, August 9, 2010

All's well that ends well -

We spent 3 hours in the local emergency room last night - I guess we're overprotective parents or something, but (thankfully) we always end up "needing" emergency services for the girls when the emergency does not indeed turn out to be an emergency.
Andy noticed early in the evening that Abigail had dug out her purple ruffled socks and was twirling with them.  Now, Abigail is all about fluff and puff and had pulled up these organza-tipped polyester socks to her knees and dubbed them "ballerina socks."  So she plied and blased and schwalayed around the kitchen while Andy and I were putting the finishing touches on supper, and suddenly, mid-spin she slipped and fell on the floor, breaking the fall with her chin and her two front teeth.
WAHHHHHHHH!
She was inconsolable, even for a supper of chicken and rice.  And she wouldn't let me touch her teeth more than once or twice.  They didn't seem loose, but I couldn't really tell.
One bite of rice and she set off howling again, saying her teeth hurt.  Andy and I looked at each other with dread - and Abigail fussed that she wanted some warm milk and to lay down.  Well, she hadn't had a nap so that seemed reasonable.  I gave her some Tylenol, lay her down and she was asleep in five minutes.
An hour later she woke up, fussing and crying again.  She said her teeth hurt.  This time we got a flashlight and looked in but she was madder than before.  She said she was hungry, but when I tried to feed her she said she couldn't eat.
So, off to Low Moor it was.
Thankfully, the waiting room was just about empty and we were able to see the doctor after about an hour.
The doctor (who had an excellent bedside manner and a good sense of humor) examined her head thoroughly, pressing gently on her jawline, her cheekbones, the top of her head....

(Doctor:) "Where does it hurt?"
(Abigail, baring her teeth:) "My teef."
(Doctor examines mouth)
(Doctor, pressing forehead)  "Does this hurt?"
"No, my teef hurt."
(pressing back of neck) "Does this hurt?"
"My teef."
(pressing cheekbones) "Does this hurt? Say yes or no."
"Its my teef hurt."
(pressing chin) "Does this hurt?"
"My teef hurt."
(pressing jaw joints) "Does this hurt?  Say yes or no."
"I SAID my TEEF hurt."
Sigh.

After 3 X-rays, and another hour of waiting for results, she was discharged with instructions to see the dentist in the morning.  It was just a bang, her teeth aren't loose and she was eating fine this morning.  No emergency is a good emergency.